We’ve now had our first IVF appointment, a group seminar
talking us through the process of IVF in general terms. They do this as a group seminar, presumably
because it makes business sense to do this as a group rather than repeat
themselves over and over to each couple, they can then use the next appointment
to focus on our individualised plan.
Longing to go to a place you never wanted to be
It’s difficult to say exactly how I felt when I arrived at
that appointment, we’ve been trying for 3 years and for about 2 years or so,
since I began to realise that there was a good chance that getting pregnant
naturally may not happen for us, IVF became both a worst case scenario and a
light at the end of the tunnel. We never
wanted to end up in this place, but at the same time I’ve been counting down
the months to be allowed into the one place that offers some potential escape
from the misery of infertility. So I was
a complete mishmash of emotions when I arrived and I felt quite emotional as I walked
in, still struggling to believe that this day had arrived, both because I’ve
been waiting so long for it and because I never thought I’d end up there.
Sad Club
When we got the letter through about the seminar Matt
immediately labelled the group sad club and that’s what we’ve been calling it
since. I had expected a
bigger group, perhaps 10 couples or so but it was actually just 4 couples in a
little room. As everybody arrived and
sat in the waiting room in separate couples everybody whispered together in
their pairs either trying to make conversation about something else or
wondering what was going to happen next.
There was a kind of unspoken shared understanding between everybody and we went
and sat together in a little seminar room.
We had to wait for a few minutes for the Dr delivering the seminar to
arrive and nobody said a single thing either to their partner or to each other
but just sat in complete, miserable, silence. After all what exactly would be your opening
line? “So what bit of you doesn’t work properly?” “How much organised sex have
you had over the last 3 years?”
Blood Test - I'd rather have done it the fun way!
Well it seems that our chances of getting pregnant the fun
way have all gone and now starts the series of blood tests, injections,
invasive exams and mood altering hormones.
Before the seminar each of the women had to have a blood test. When I mentioned this in advance to Matt his
first response was “I don’t have to have a blood test do I?!” Bless him, he is terrible with needles, I never realised
just how terrible until we both had to go for a blood test at the same time
before the IVF referral went through, he went completely grey and clammy and
nearly passed out, though it’s a credit to my wifely support that he didn’t
actually pass out like he usually does! You’d think the fact that his main concern
was whether he had to have a blood test might bother me but actually it doesn’t
at all. I’m almost as relieved as he is
that his main roll in this is a hot date with a cup and looking after me. I’m more than happy to take all the needles,
all the discomfort, the pain, the hormones,
because I know he’ll be looking after me. Also I know that going for the IVF at all was more
something that I wanted to do, if the
choice had been Matt’s we would have moved straight to adoption but I was keen
to try the IVF first, I’m only 30, I’m not ready to give up on the possibility
of baring my own children just yet without trying this option.
This blood test was for AMH – Anti-Mullerian Hormone –
level. It helps assesses your Ovarian
reserve and gives an idea or the amount and quality of your eggs (ref http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/IVF/Pages/Why-is-it-necessary.aspx),
this information can them be used to guide treatment and decide drug doses for
certain part of the treatment process. So that’s needle number one over and
done with, not sure how many more they’ll be to come but that definitely won’t
be the biggest needle, nor the one stuck in the most uncomfortable place!
So, next appointment is next Friday (it would have been next
Monday but we couldn’t make that date), hopefully that will give us some more individualised
information on how things will progress from here…
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