*sings* I Wanna Be Sedated

Egg collection tomorrow!  I’m having my egg collection under sedation and my husband is very helpfully singing this song to me and talking about how they’re going to harvest me.

The bit about the plane doesn't have any relevence but the rest is pretty accurate!

This may seem insensitive to some but my husband knows me well and knows I actually find this amusing and somewhat helpful; trying to keep everything relaxed and light helps to keep me calm.  I’m having mixed feelings about the awake sedation that my clinic uses for the egg collection.  For this they use 2 drugs – Fentanyl, a opioid, that is morphine like, pain killer and midazolam, a sedative that also has amnesic properties.  The idea is to keep you as comfortable and calm as possible without the risks of a general anaesthetic. I definitely want to have it and I want to be as comfortable as I can for the procedure, not least because it will help them to be able to get as many eggs as possible, but I don’t really like the fact that it has amnesic effects.  It’s difficult to explain, I feel like if this all works I want to be able to remember everything I’ve gone through to have a child, it won’t be a comfortable experience but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a positive one. Does that make sense?  I feel like this is part of my story, and part of the story of any child that is born from it, and as such I’d quite like to be able to remember it.  That doesn’t mean I’ll be turning down the midazolam but I just hope that it keeps me comfy but doesn’t completely wipe my memory of the whole experience. After all, I’ve gone to lots of effort to document this experience, I’d like to be able to remember this vital part of it, though I’d quite like to not be in a hideous amount of pain aswell so I’ll take the drugs!

If I'm feeling up to it I’ll try and write a post tomorrow afternoon to let you know how I’m getting on, until then I’ll spend the rest of today and tonight trying to relax and not thinking of the giant needle waiting for me tomorrow!